Cat Burglar
by CaityAndNaeHeartCookies
Summary: Ikuto discovers the dangers of lamps, Amus and the temptation of catnip...CRACKFIC!


**Caity: Hi there everybody! I have recently started watching an anime called Shugo Chara! I can't wait for episode 70.....wah!! Anywayz in watching this show I have become majorly-big-time-obsessed with Amu and Ikuto!! They are so flipping cute together!! I just want Ikuto to pop out his little neko-kitty-cosplay-boy cat ears, scoop Amu up and run away into the sunset with her! Whilst everyone else waves and Tadase cries, no I don't hate Tadase, in fact we share a common purpose....world domination!! So as you can see we are eternal rivals! HAHAHAHAHAH!!**

**Ikuto: She scares me..**

**Caity: NYA!!! IT'S NEKO-KITTY-COSPLAY-BOY!!**

**Ikuto: -hides-**

**Caity: Nioooooouuu I wanted to see the pretty kitty ears....**

**Nae: You my friend are obsessed..**

**Caity: HEY NAE!! WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!??**

**Nae: -_-" I was here the whole time....**

**Caity: OOOH OOPS SORRY!!!**

**Ikuto: STOP SHOUTING!!**

**Caity: SORRY NEKO-KITTY-COSPLAY-BOY!!!!**

**Ikuto: ...**

**Yoru: -yawns- Ikuto nya-**

**Ikuto: -grabs Yoru- Shhhh she'll see you!!**

**Caity: OH EM GEE IT'S YORU!!! SOOOOOO KAWAIII!!!!!!!!**

**Yoru: ARGH!! -runs away-**

**Caity: NOOOOOO!! YORU-CHAN!! COME BACK!! -chases Yoru-**

**Amu: What'd I miss?**

**Ikuto: The authoress is loopy..**

**Amu: -_-' aren't all the fanfiction writers loopy...**

**Caity: NO! Now you've done it! SUPER SECRET SPORK ATTACK GO!! -throws spork and hits Ikuto in the eye-**

**Ikuto: owwwww....what did I do?**

**Amu: Uhhhh enjoy the story!!**

**Caity: But first I think it's important that you know I do not own Shugo Chara! But I very much wish I did, if you would still like to purchase autographs please line up in an orderly fashion behind the yellow line...**

**Tumbleweed: -blows in front of Caity's autograph signing desk-**

**Caity: -sigh- well a girl can dream right?**

**Ikuto: No.**

**Caity: Wahhh! Neko-chan your soooo mean!!**

**Ikuto: Ne-Neko-chan??!!?!?!?**

**Caity: Well if you prefer neko-kitty-cosplay-boy....**

**Ikuto: -_-......Gee what a choice...**

**Caity: You know you love your nicknames, now shut up or I shall pair Amu with....Kuukai!!!**

**Ikuto: NOOOOOOOOO!!**

**Caity: Good, now start the story.. It's set after the amusement park 'date' as Ikuto calls it.. What a cheap skate...seriously.... He finally takes her on a 'date' and he doesn't spend a single cent!!!..anyway I think about episode 30 something....eh I really haven't thought about it that much...First Shugo Chara! Fic so be nice....or I shall spork you....**

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_**Ikuto's Point of view**_

It was a pretty night outside and I was doing the same old thing I had been doing since me and Amu had our date, you know the one in the amusement park. Some might call it stalking but I prefer to think of it as careful observation of the enemy, as I have pointed out to my so-called friends at school many times. I have no idea why none of them believe me!! Seriously why would I stalk Amu...It was just coincidence that time I showed up on her balcony....and the time after that......and the time after that......and well I think you get the general idea right? I just happened to know where she lived and which room was hers and everything.

So for the millionth time I leapt up onto her balcony and stared through her window. She looked so cute asleep, her mouth was open wide and I could hear her muffled snores....awww. Oh would you look at that, her legs twitching, she's dreaming that she's running somewhere!!....Wait, could she be running away from me??.....No she's obviously running to me!! YAYS!!.....Wait, dude, that is so out of character....I'll stop now I promise.

_**Amu's Point of view**_

_**Amu's dream**_

"Ikuto gimme back me back my chocolate ice cream damnit!!"

"NEVAH!!" Ikuto yelled triumphantly as he ran away from me. Gee for anorexic kid he sure was fast.

"Ok that's it! Miki Character Transform!!"

"Ok Amu-chan!" Miki said as she floated over to me.....I swear that she wasn't there a few seconds ago...

"My own heart unlock!" I said as I did the cool hand movement, I can't get over how awesome I must look while I'm doing that aye. Once more we went through the incredibly long and incredibly pink transforming sequence. Finally we were done, dressed in my new awesome blue outfit I performed a few poses before stopping at one and calling out.

"Character transformation: Amulet Spade!"

_**Ikuto's point of view**_

I watched as Amu rolled over and mumbled something I couldn't quite make sense of.

"M....wn.....he...ock.....................cha...er......ans.....ion......mu...t.....ade..."

As I watched she twitched a little and performed a peace sign....Yeah I don't get it either...Must be a girl thing...No, maybe it's just an Amu thing..I glanced over at her bedside table and I saw none other than the awesomness that is catnip! Uh oh..I felt my cat ears and tail pop out, letting my instincts take over I slid her door open, closing it behind me as I stalked into her room dodging behind furniture. Finally I reached the object of my desire, the catnip seemed to sparkle and I could feel myself drooling....So not cool, this is totally ruining my rep man.

**BAM!**

Suddenly I fell on my stomach having had something hard and heavy collide with my head.

_**Amu's Point of view**_

_**Amu's dream**_

"Alright Miki let's do this!" I called out as an over-sized paint brush appeared in my hands, swinging it I cried "Colourful Canvas!!"

I jumped for joy as I made a direct hit on Ikuto, but my celebration was cut short when he got back up. He was coming towards me, in a moment of panic I did the only thing I could do, hit him with the paintbrush repeatedly. He kept on getting up!! What the hell man!!

"Stay down Damnit!!"

"Amu wake up!"

"NO STAY DOWN DAMNIT!!!" I hit him on the head and finally was drawing groans of pain. I was panting with exhaustion but I wouldn't give up just yet. After all this, the fiend still had my ice cream and I wasn't letting him leave alive!!

_**Ikuto's Point of view**_

"Colourful Canvas!!" Amu called out as she stood over me swishing a lamp around....So that's what hit me eh? Man that girls got one hell of a mean swing.... I started to stand up when the lamp started to repeatedly hit me.

"Stay down damnit!!"

"Amu wake up!"

"NO STAY DOWN DAMNIT!!!"

Oooook she was starting to scare me, what in the world was her problem...Wait her eyes were closed? That meant she was still asleep...Oh so in her dreams she beats up people with lamps, hmmm odd.....

"AMU!! NO!! PUT THE LAMP DOWN!!" I groaned in pain as the lamp once again made contact with my head. Amu was panting with exhaustion, her shoulders heaving up and down. I clutched my head with my arms trying to protect it....Ow! That was a cheap shot....I move my hands to my head so what does she do? Hits me in the groin...Damn! That bloody kills!!!

_**Yoru's Point of view**_

_**Outside Amu's door**_

I was waiting for Ikuto to finish his stalking-I mean observing of the enemy, when I came across Amu's chara's Miki, Suu and Ran. I wonder why they are out in the hallway....I thought they slept in Amu's room. Miki was the first to notice me, giving me a nod in way of greeting, the others offered a hushed 'hello' as if afraid of waking someone up....Pssshh Amu, Ami and Ikuto are the only people in this house who can see us or hear us.

"We're out here because, although Amu-chan's great, she snores like a rhino.....We don't wanna hurt her feelings so after she's asleep we sneak out here and in the morning we sneak back in." Miki explained, answering my question as if reading my mind...Maybe she can...

"I'm thinking of a number between one and ten!" I said rapidly, wanting to test my mind reading theory.

"Excuse me?" Miki said, an eyebrow raised as she looked at me questioningly.

"Phew..." My mind reading theory was wrong...Thank god....I don't want her in my head....Seriously..

"-ke up!" That was Ikuto's voice...my head snapped in the direction of Amu's door as I floated over and pressed my ear against it, motioning for the other Chara's to come and do the same.

"NO STAY DOWN DAMNIT!!"

"AMU!! NO!! PUT THE LAMP DOWN!!" I heard Ikuto groan after this and could make out ragged breathing on Amu's part.

"A lamp huh? Sounds kinda kinky....." I said as I put a hand onto my chin and struck a thoughtful pose. This was ruined however when a small pink shoe flew the air and hit me in the face. Ran huffed angrily as she collected her shoe and put it back on her foot.

"You pervert! Amu would never do that!! Unless....she hasn't consented!! IKUTO'S RAPING HER!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Oh no desu!! Suu to the rescue!!" Suu said as she burst through the door.

"Wait Suu don-" Miki started but it was too late, the door was already flung open and Ran and Suu had flown right in shouting accusations.

"IKUTO!! YOU PERVERTED RAPIST!!"

"SHE'S TOO YOUNG FOR YOU!!"

"HOW DARE YOU TAKE AMU-CHAN'S INNOCENCE!!!"

"YOU...YOU....GAAAAAHHHH!!"

_**Normal Point of view**_

Miki and Yoru floated slowly in behind them only to be met with a most amusing sight. Ikuto was curled up in a ball, one hand protecting his head and the other between his legs. Amu's eyes were half open and she looked in a daze, a discarded lamp was lying on the floor beside her.

"Ran...Suu...why did you wake me it's not even light outside yet.." Amu mumbled as she finally became aware of her surroundings. Sometime during her speech Ikuto had forced himself to endure the pain and stand up.

_**Amu's Point of view**_

AHHH!!! Ikuto's in my room!! Wahhhh!! I don't want him to see me like this!! My hair's a mess!! And I'm still wearing my pj's and gah!! What do I dooo!??? What do I do! So I did the first thing that came to mind, I grabbed Ikuto by the shoulders and whirled him around. I then proceeded to push him towards my balcony door.

"Ikuto! You idiot! Get out!!"

With an almighty heave I shoved him out and closed the door. Locking it this time I clambered into bed to get some more sleep before school. Otherwise I definitely would fail my maths test tomorrow...Sigh...Icky, I hate math....

_**Normal Point of view**_

In all the confusion Amu didn't notice that the catnip she bought to give to Yoru for helping her find Ran was gone. You see Ran had decided to play 'hide and never-be-found' as Amu called her 'game', she was so good at it neither Amu or her other chara's had been able to find her. So she sought help, everyone else's chara's agreed straight away but with Yoru everything comes with a price....

A certain blue haired boy touched the catnip in his pocket and smirked as he limped, with as much dignity as he could muster, down the street. His kitty chara followed him, snickering into one paw and rubbing a shoe-shaped red mark on his face.

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**Caity: Nooooo!...I can't believe I made Yoru-Chan and Neko-Kitty-Cosplay-Boy get hurt so much!! **

**Neko-Kitty-Cosplay-Boy aka Ikuto: So why did you do it in the first place huh?**

**Caity: SHUT UP!! SUPER SECRET SPORK ATTACK GO!! -Thows spork and hits Ikuto in the other eye-**

**Ikuto: Noo!! I'm temporarily blinded!! I can't see!! -runs into wall-**

**Caity: Whoops....**

**Ikuto: Have mercy on me!!**

**Caity:...ummm I'm sorry?**

**Ikuto: That's all you can say!! I clearly need medical attention here!!!**

**Caity: My bad....**

**Ikuto: For the love of god save me from this psycho!!**

**Nae: -walks in fully dressed up in hospital gear and pulls out a saw- I'll save you!!**

**Ikuto: NOOOOOO!!**

**Nae: Hold still I may need to amputate..**

**Ikuto: Ahhhhhh!!**

**Yoru and Ran: Give me a R!! Give me an E!! Give me a V!! Give me a I!! Give me a E!! Give me a W!! What does that spell? REVIEW!!!**

**Yoru: Okay I cheered now pay up..**

**Caity: Nawww -hands Yoru 10 bags of catnip-**

**Yoru: :3**

**Happy Valentines Day peoples!!!  
**


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